At some point during the game yesterday - probably during the third quarter, when we were detaching dirty marshmallows from our persons as Air Force put on another effortless scoring drive - I realized the outcome of the game wasn't going to mean that much to me.  As bad as this season has been, I've been pretty numb to most of the losses, and now that we've reached a point in the season when we're playing poorer teams with no chance at a bowl game, the wins are just to prove we're not that awful.

On one hand, I suppose that's a testament to me.  While I love my school and have stayed for the entirety of every ghastly debacle this season, I've got enough other interests and love the sport of college football enough that an Irish loss doesn't affect me as much as it should.  Win or lose, I still get to see Tim Tebow and the Kansas Jayhawks play in the evening while breaking down the bigger bowl picture and discussing New Years plans over brews with friends.  Win or lose, I still go to class Monday, still have a ton of papers to write before the semester is over and still get to decorate the house for Christmas.

But on the other hand, does that make me a bad fan?  Shouldn't every loss burn?  Shouldn't I be inconsolable after another loss to a service academy like so many others across the Internets seem to be?

I was thinking about this today and gave my nonchalant attitude over a disastrous 1-9 season a full pardon, because if the football team didn't give a damn about what happens on the field, why should I?

You can blame this season on Ty Willingham's recruiting if you want, and while you'd be partially right, that's not all it is.  Willingham left us depleted on the lines and the lack of depth there perhaps was why Weis chose to avoid contact in early practices, and with no one pushing for your job, people can become complacent.  

You can blame this season on Charlie Weis' coaching if you want, and while you'd be partially right, that's not all it is.  Obviously there have been horrendous calls the last few weeks - QB sneak on 4th and 2 this week?  Not kicking the field goals last week?  - while offensive players are completely and totally unable to block two teams they should be manhandling in the trenches.  Weis screwed up the practices before the season started, mishandled the quarterback situation early and has become less and less inspiring as a game day coach, but no, the blame won't be fully on him.

I mentioned earlier I just love watching college football.  Those fourteen Saturdays, plus Thursday nights and bowl games, are always a treasure every year.  Every time I sit down after a Notre Dame game and watch two other teams play, two things float into my head.  The first is "Why can't we move the ball/tackle/really do anything like them?".  This is bad, but goes to the coaching and recruiting aspect of both past and present.  My second thought?  

"Why do these players seem to care so much more than ours do?"

You can blame Weis for not having them motivated or for being a jack-ass or say whatever you please, but at some point in time pride has to become a factor.  You have to be tired of getting your ass kicked and decide to do something about it.  Did anyone see Owen Schmitt pounding his helmet into his head repeatedly Thursday night?  Of course you did, since ESPN replayed it a dozen times.  When do you see anything like that from a Notre Dame player, other than maybe Tommy Z punching the ground after a punt return?

I can't get into the minds of the dozens of players on the team, and this probably doesn't apply to everyone, but just watching the game being played the only conclusion I can come to is that we don't care.  This doesn't apply to everyone - Lord knows Trevor Laws is giving his all out there - but I think it covers the general attitude of the team.  Miss a block and give up another sack?  Jog off the field.  Get burnt in coverage or somehow manage to not cover the pitch man again after two weeks of giving up the play?  Jog back to the huddle.  

I think I realized people didn't care that much when the entire football team was out on Bourbon Street after the Sugar Bowl, enjoying the fact they just got embarrassed on national television.  I think more people realized it when the team's out every Saturday night after another embarrassing loss.  People are actually yelling to the players from the stand that it's okay if they want to rest up so they can hit up the bars after the game.  Again, this doesn't apply to everyone, but watching what's going on down on the field has made some notable former players - Aaron Taylor and Shane Walton, for instance - to point out how depressing it is to see players not giving a shit, playing sans anything resembling pride in the university.

Nobody seems to care, and it spreads to the fans.  There's so much apathy in the student section it's almost laughable, but I'm not blaming the students.  There have been times when the Sea of Green has risen to the occasion - first half against Michigan State, third quarter against Boston College, most of the second half against Navy - but after being continually let down, the blame doesn't rest solely on them.  The players feed off the crowd, but it's not a one-way street: The crowd also feeds off the action on the field just the same.

It's a symbiotic relationship between the two, but now you're almost into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.  A beaten down, fed up football team is playing in front a beaten down, fed up crowd and no one seems to be breaking out of the depressing cyclical nature of the whole thing.  There was a controversy last season after the Michigan game of whether you were a real Notre Dame fan or not if you left the game early and didn't want to support a losing team.  The quote that popped up that I thought to be perfect was the following, and I think it applies this season as well.

"We'll lose with losers, but we'll quit on quitters."

We know the Fighting Irish this season are in the most literal sense, at 1-9, losers.  Teams lose.  Bad seasons happen, you ride out the rough times, focusing on the youth, the future and the positive aspects and you bond together as both fans and team.  It's the dark days that make the sunny ones worthwhile, so you lose with losers, glad the effort is there and assuring yourself things will turn around.  You rally around the cause and presume that because there's effort and talent, things will break through in a positive manner.  It's this kind of attitude that keeps the fan bases of the Pirates and Clippers and Browns and Lions and every other perennially awful team from just cutting ties - or wrists - and moving on from something they love despite the consistently heartbreaking results.

We know this year Notre Dame is losing.  They have the next two games to prove to themselves, to the beleaguered fans and to the nation, that they're not quitters on top of that.