A little more than a week until the party starts, and we've got some idea as to the quality of the host, guest and location situations (our team, our opponents and our schedule), but what about the music?  The music is the glue of the party much like special teams can hold a team together.  Good special teams means people are out there, flying around, having fun, building confidence, getting excited (a different kind of excited than you get at a party when your dancing with a cute girl).  Poor special teams, and the party is over and people are in the streets looking for cabs.

Last year, the party lasted about half a quarter, and while the location, guests and especially the inexperienced hosts had a lot to do with it, the music wasn't great either.  This year, if the Irish are gonna keep this shindig rocking until the cops come, the music must improve.

"Alright, break it up Notre Dame.  San Diego State's had enough."

Kickoff is like the first song of the parrty.  People have filed in, they've got all their gear on, they've warmed up (in this analogy drinking = stretching) and the team is ready to get things started.  Ideally you want something that's gonna get everyone jacked up and ready to go, something from the Justin Timberlake oeuvre.  Last year we kicked things off with a resounding "Dancing Queen" from ABBA.  Average kickoff length: 58 yards.  Average opponent return: 23 yards.  Factoring in penalties, that gave our opponents an average start position at their 34.  That doesn't get anyone excited.  In fact, much like ABBA, it is adolescent male kryptonite.  This year we return both kickers who attempted kickoffs last season, and while practice reports indicate consistency, nothing has been mentioned to give much hope for a new tune.

Similarly, kickoff returns are another important song.  Last year, Armando Allen fielded 33 kickoffs, but, much like that techno song "Sandstorm", he was too fast for his own good.  This year Armando and Golden Tate are back again, and hopefully, with a year's worth of experience, they can reign in their frenetic pace until some blocks can be set.  "Sandstorm" has the pounding base required for any quality dance song, and our returner have the requisite speed.  Hopefully this summer they learned how to use it.

The punt team from last year could best be compared to a Kanye West song.  It's pretty good, but you heard it way, way, way, way, way too much.  Like "Stronger" or, even worse, "Golddigger,"  the first twenty times it comes around, fine, but when you get higher into the twenties and into the thirties, woof.  The Irish punted 32 times last season, but were 13th in the FBS in net punting.  This year the Irish faithful would like to be hearing the same tune, just less often.  With Eric Maust returning along with Bruton and gunner extraordinaire Mike Anello, the tune should sound about the same if not better.  Irish fans hope we hear it less often this season.

Making white people think it's okay to use the N-word since 2004.

Snappers and holders last year were nothing if not reliable.  Guaranteed to get the job done -- like the Boss's "Born to Run."  Holders are the same this year, but we're breaking in fresh faces at the two snapper positions.  Weis likes to pick a walk-on and mold him into a long-snapping machine, like he did with newly minted Green Bay Packer J.J. Jensen (side note: I overheard some girls talking last year about how excited J.J. was to play in the NFL.  I told them that hell would freeze over before Jensen made a team.  I was wrong.  I apologize.  Congrats, J.J.).  Kevin Brooks is the new guy in town, and will likely share some duties with frosh C Braxton Cave.  I'm not too worried about this position, and if we don't end up with a "Born to Run," we'll at least get a "Thunder Road" or "Born in the U.S.A." out of it.

Charlie's attitude last year towards the Field Goal unit was similar to a good party host's attitude towards "YMCA" or "The Hokey Pokey":  Why even bother?  Fourth and eight last year at the Navy 24-yard line, Weis decided it was better to have no music, but Ram Vela decided to "superman that ho" anyway.  Practice reports tell of Brandon Walker being more consistent inside of 40 yards and gaining confidence, but, until a drive stalls around an opponents 25 again, we won't know if Charlie's confidence in Walker has improved.

Ladies men

Finally, a brand new song.  After three years of Zbikowski's Slipknot-heavy-metal-run-over-instead-of-around style, we're gonna be singing a new tune this year.  It will most likely be a fast one, with Allen and Tate listed atop this depth chart too, but it could be something from the indie-scene, an unknown like Barry Gallup, Jr.  Irish fans would love to see the mirrored improvement from Allen's kickoff returns translate into punt returns, but I get the feeling that we might get a healthy dose of Golden Tate to prevent overplaying Armando.

Recap:  Last year's playlist consisted of "Dancing Queen," "Sandstorm," "Golddigger," "Born to Run," "YMCA" and that song that goes, "OOH-AH-AH-AH-AH!"  This year the Irish hope to hear "Rock Your Body," something fast, but controlled (a Snoop Dogg song perhaps), a Kanye West song in moderation, "Thunder Road," anything better than "YMCA" and another fast, but controlled song (maybe Ludacris).  The odds that we make all of these improvements are slim, but Weis's change in system (last year's "all coaches coach special teams together" was a disaster) should keep the Irish faithful hopeful for improvement.  The most worrisome is the kickoff game, but if that can get straightened out the neighbors might be calling in complaints in November.